Oh crap, it's decision paralysis!
When I woke up this morning I had seven drafts on seven different topics that I was trying to write a post about. I went back-and-forth for the last 3 days, chipping away at each topic hoping that inspiration would strike and I could make a clear decision on which topic to finish for today.
I was searching for the perfect topic. I wanted to avoid sharing something that you wouldn't find relevant, interesting, or helpful. I felt like I was lacking some critical elements of each article and that they were incomplete. I had too many topics to choose from and my attention and enthusiasm was fragmented. I couldn't figure out what was more important - sharing something that my retail network would enjoy, or sharing something that my outdoor hospitality network would enjoy. I couldn't make a decision because I needed some time to sit and think - and that would take time away from my family and son. I couldn't come to a conclusive decision because I felt like I was missing clarity on what I would enjoy writing and what you would enjoy reading.
One decision being held up by seven very real symptoms.
You know why I couldn't make a decision on which one to pursue? It's because I was in the grips of decision paralysis. In the end, I chose to set all seven aside and make digital lemonade out of the lemons I found on my screen.
If anything I just wrote made you smirk and nod your head slightly, or if you've seen a co-worker, family member, or friend go through this before... Cancel your plans to keep scrolling aimlessly through social media or your emails for the next 5-10 minutes and let's navigate the world of indecision, decisively - together.
If you want to exit out of this now and keep scrolling. Here's the perfect place to go to scroll. Spoiler alert, it will make you want to quit your job and begin your own endless odyssey. I wouldn't click if I were you.
Introduction
We've all fallen victim to it at some point in our life and some of us are an easier target than others. Decision Paralysis, also known by its alias "analysis paralysis" is responsible for an egregious amount of wasted or lost time, missed deadlines, perceptions of an inability to be decisive, arguments at home, and even missed opportunities.
No one is impervious to decision paralysis, it comes for us all. It's come for me almost weekly throughout my career and it kicked my @$$ for 95% of the last week... but not today!
Decision paralysis is not about an actual fear of making a decision. You're not paralyzed or unable to come to a decision you can confidently stand behind because you're incapable of or afraid of being decisive. That's what's called decidophobia. Rather, decision paralysis or indecision stems from having a healthy respect for the weight of your decision and its ability to have an impact on more than just your immediate self. It comes from you recognizing (selfishly but logically) the ramifications of your future self, as well as those who will be effected by your decision (selflessly).
Our indecision stems from a desire to make the best choice (or in some cases, the "perfect choice"). Absent knowing what the right choice is, we try to figure out what the best choice is. When we fail to conclusively determine what the best choice is, we cede control of the situation to indecision and start our own personalized spiral into the depths of decision paralysis.
Understanding the source of indecision
Our decision paralysis will typically stem from one or more reasons. Some may be more prevalent than others for you, some may have only occurred in personal life decisions while others are more likely to play a larger role in professional decisions. I'm not a betting man, I don't need any help having less money at the end of today than when I woke up -- but I would confidently bet that you have encountered each of these as a source of indecision at some point.
Fear of failure or making mistakes
Lack of information or clarity
Overwhelmed from too many options
Conflicting priorities or values
Perfectionism
External pressures or expectations
Emotional barriers
Helping others through indecision
Before we talk about how you can help yourself navigate the waters of indecision. Let's first talk about how you (now acutely aware of indecision's power) can show up for others when they're experiencing decision paralysis.
Leaders helping other leaders or their team
When a member of your team is struggling to make a decision, they're probably not afraid to make a decision. It's not a sign of weakness. It's not a sign that they've risen to their proverbial level of incompetence in the organization and the Peter Principle is coming to fruition (more on that in another post). If this is your initial thought or assumption, perhaps it's you that the Peter Principle describes?
It's a sign that there's one or more obstacles to them feeling confident enough in their decision to bring it to you.
Maybe they don't want to let you down. Maybe they're afraid of the ramifications of poor results. It's your job to recognize when someone on your team is being impacted by indecision and help them identify the source of indecision so that they can overcome it. Once you know the source, you can acknowledge and counteract it, helping that person feel confident in making a decision. There's a very simple way to secure this wonderful outcome... you stop typing emails or planning how you get your next promotion and you talk to them.
There's a good chance one or more of these is causing their mental traffic jam.
Fear of failure or making mistakes
Lack of information or clarity
Conflicting priorities or values
Perfectionism
It's not your job to help them make the perfect, right, or best decision. That will be a naturally occuring biproduct of hiring the right people for the right reasons and then putting them in a position to succeed.
Perhaps your team member is afraid of acting on their intuition and having it be the wrong recommendation. Maybe they don't feel they have enough context to allow their intuition to potentially play a role in making you both look bad. Their reason for being indecisive may very well be equal parts self-preservation as it is loyalty and sense of duty to you.
If any of the statements above rubbed you the wrong way, I'm sorry but you're not a factory foreman in the 1920's. Since I don't have a boss right now, I can finally say this... The age of management is over. Welcome to the age of leadership. Leading your team through indecision in a time when we're overwhelmed with data, inputs, office politics, opinions, and perpetually changing priorities is your job.
(wow, that was cathartic)
Partners, family, and friends helping each other
When someone you're personally close or connected to is struggling with a decision, they're probably not afraid of the actual act of making the decision. A more likely explanation is that they're afraid of making a decision that has negative or unintended consequences that effect you. Their indecision may not be weakness, it may actually be a sign of just how much they care about you.
Take their indecision as a sign that there's something about their potential decision that they're unsure how it's going to effect you.
What's keeping them from making their decision? Probably one or more of these.
Fear of failure or making mistakes
Overwhelmed from too many options
Conflicting priorities or values
External pressures or expectations
Emotional barriers
It's not your job to make the decision for them. Instead, look at your role as being that of the person that can release them from their elevated accountability to you. Note that if you can't confidently release them from their accountability in the decision they make, perhaps you should be part of the decision-making process with them and help them make an informed decision, together.
Perhaps your partner isn't unwilling to pick the restaurant that you'll eat at tonight, but rather they know how much you enjoy going out and they themselves don't really care as much about the food as they do making sure you're happy. It's not about choosing the restaurant, it's about being confident that their decision yields maximum happiness for you.
Helping yourself through indecision
This is it, if you've gotten here and you're still reading - this is what I'm hoping will be your reward for an attention span that lasts more than two minutes and a determination to do whatever you can to better understand how to counteract indecision. Your dedication clearly knows no limits, as you've sat through at least several minutes of my caffeine fueled info-drivel.
If any of the following resonates with you or reminds you of a friend, family members, or colleague - send this to them, would ya?
Fear of failure or making mistakes
Congratulations! Having a fear of making the wrong decision and ultimately failing others is a great sign that you're actually a phenomenal human being. Having a fear of failing yourself is a sign that you value and appreciate your time, your life, and the opportunity that you've been given to actually make this decision for yourself and be in control of your own fate.
Being afraid to fail or to make a mistake isn't a defect, it's a logical, practical, and rational response to the reality that we live in a world governed by cause and effect, action and consequence.
Before you let a fear of failure or making a mistake be the very reason you fail, consider taking one or more of these steps.
Acknowledge and accept the fear. Recognize that this is a natural human emotion. Trying to avoid it or deny it can exacerbate your decision paralysis.
Visualize success and failure. Imagine a successful outcome, and imagine a failed outcome. Kind of scary, maybe - but now you have your best and worst case scenarios. You're clear on the risk and the reward now. Pursue your decision with your outcome range in-mind.
Set the criteria for success. Define what success looks like, allowing you to focus on achieving a specific outcome. Don't try to make a decision with a moving target of what success looks like. Identify it, lock it in, action on it.
Understand the cost of inaction. Identify if failing to make a decision may have greater consequences than making the wrong decision.
Develop a contingency plan. If you're concerned about a potential failure or setback, first arrive at your decision - and then insulate it with a contingency plan to give yourself a sense of security and confidence in your decision and your ability to protect yourself or others from any downside.
Focus on the process, not the outcome. Emphasize the importance of making a well-informed decision over a perfect decision. Then focus on gathering and organizing the information you need to make an informed decision. Ask yourself, what do you need to make a decision you can explain - not what you need to create a bulletproof defense of said decision.
Challenge irrational beliefs. Identify negative self-talk or cognitive distortions that may be fueling your fear of failure. Replace these thoughts with something realistic or empowering.
Lack of information or clarity?
Congratulations! Feeling unable to make a decision because you don't have enough information, details, or clarity on the situation means that you are exceptionally aware of what you do and don't have a firm grip on.
Being predisposed to making informed decisions isn't a defect, it's a survival trait buried deep within your genome. It's a gift that's been passed down to you for milleniums, culminating in your own honed awareness of how much information you need to make a decision you can stand behind (or ask others to have confidence in).
Don't let lack of information or clarity be your downfall. Take action.
Clarify objectives and criteria. Define your key objectives and desired outcome so that you can focus efforts on gathering information that is most relevant to the decision you need to make to secure your desired outcome or objectives.
Identify information gaps. Work the problem. The problem is that you're missing information or context. Identify what specific information is missing or may be unclear. See if you can break the decision down into any smaller components or sequences, and then identify what specific information you need in order to address each component in an informed manner.
Ask questions. Seek clarification that may help improve context and enable you to refine your thoughts, priorities, and perspective.
Seek diverse perspectives. If you're still unsure that your own perspective is too fallible or uninformed, talk to others who may be able to expand or enrich your current view.
Overwhelmed from too many options?
Congratulations! You have options to choose from! It's easy to become overwhelmed by options. Just think about the first time you walked into the detergent aisle at Walmart. The good news is that you have options to choose from. That means that you can use the information you have or that you gain to choose what's best for your situation.
Rather than be overwhelmed by the amount of options, first celebrate the fact that you have a variety of options to choose from. You're not being forced to accept a specific option. Now let's shift the perspective from being overwhelmed by the options to excited for the chance to find what works for you.
Define success. Make sure you can confidently state what goals or outcome you wish to achieve with this decision. Decide or confirm what success looks like for you in this situation.
Narrow down options. Based on your definition of success, see what options can be most easily eliminated relative to your definition of success.
Trust your intuition. Don't discount your own intuition, it's been finely tuned over the entirety of your lifetime. It's the cumulative product of all your knowledge and experience. It's important to analyze decisions rationally, but don't be afraid to consider how each option resonates when stacked up against your values, experiences, and preferences.
Time box and set a deadline. Procrastination is your enemy here, eliminate it by setting a firm deadline to make a decision. This helps maintain a reasonable sense of urgency, which will help you prioritize options more effectively.
Conflicting priorities or values
Congratulations! You know what's great about this situation? You have priorities and values, and those can be used to make an informed decision. Lots of indecision stems from a feeling of being ill-informed. Your situation here ensures that you will be able to make an informed decision.
One of your primary challenges here stems from feeling a need to satisfy all priorities equally, while also ensuring no compromise on critical values. Despite what your leaders, family, or friends say - that's simply not possible. If it was, they'd give you the answer themselves.
Try attacking your indecision with this playbook.
Clarify priorities and values. Take some time as needed to clarify what the true priorities or values of consequence are in this decision. This will help you identify factors that can guide your decision-making process.
Identify conflicting priorities and rank them. Evaluate and rank conflicting priorities based on their importance and relevance to the decision at-hand. Tag them as non-negotiable, flexible, or ready for compromise.
Review decisions in light of values. Evaluate whether your decision is consistent with your core values and adjust course as needed to stay true to your principles.
Explore trade-offs. Recognize that decision-making often involves trade-offs between conflicting priorities or values. Determine which compromise(s) are acceptable given your objectives and priorities.
Identify common ground. Look for areas of common ground or potential alignment between conflicting priorities or values. See if there's any creative solutions or compromises that will satisfy multilpe conflicting priorities or values simultaneously.
Consider long-term implications. Evaluate how your options align with your goals and priorities over time, not just in the immediate term.
Perfectionism
Congratulations! You hold yourself to the ultimate level of accountability. Unfortunately, you're also holding yourself to an impossible standard. Are you capable of amazing things? Absolutely. Are you capable of doing something better than most people? Absolutely. The real question here though is... is anyone actually expecting you to be perfect in this situation?
You know what your biggest problem here is? You're a human. As a human, we're highly fallible. However, the luxury handed to you by being human is that you're afforded the opportunity to be perfectly imperfect. As such, your decision is also allowed to be perfectly imperfect. Embrace this genetic condition (being born human) as justification for your decisions to result in imperfect outcomes and results. Imperfect does not equal incorrect or unsatisfactory!
I know you seek the perfect playbook to arrive at the perfect solution. I wasn't looking forward to writing this section. But I'm going to practice what I preach. I'm going to accept that this playbook will be imperfect, but embrace the opportunity to make a positive impact on your life or career. If I can get you to nod your head just once here, my imperfect playbook will achieve a perfect outcome relative to my objectives.
Challenge perfectionist beliefs. Recognize that true and complete perfection is completely unattainable and that the very act of seeking it is the very thing that can hinder the progress you need to make.
Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you face a challenge or setback along the path to decision. Acknowledge that making a mistake or less than perfect decision is inherently human, impossible to avoid, and 100% part of every day of our lives.
Set realistic expectations. Recognize that perfection is neither necessary nor achievable, and that no one is expecting or even asking for perfection. Reallocate your fuel for perfection to securing progress and improvements. That's what others are depending on you to deliver, not perfection.
Embrace and celebrate imperfection. Embrace the concept of being perfectly imperfect. Your imperfection is the reason for your existence, it's part of your purpose for being. Approach your day and its challenges with the objective of going to bed more perfectly imperfect than you were when you woke up. Progress is your ultimate goal in a universe where perfection doesn't truly exist.
Focus on progress, not perfection. Don't hold the confetti and champagne in reserve for the day that you achieve perfection. Ready for the paradox of your perfectionism? By your own nature, you seek perfection. Which means in situations where you wait for the perfect situation, decision, or outcome - you do so because you recognize the opportunity to secure an even better outcome. That means you recognize the immense value of progress, and that perfection cannot be achieved without progress. Chase progress consistently and voraciously and every day you'll be closer to the "perfect" that you seek to be.
Set personalized boundaries. Identify the defensive measures you need to take to protect yourself from seeking to brute force perfection. Unrealistic deadlines, unfounded self-criticism, and unrealistic expectations that you impose on yourself need to be eradicated in favor of a paradigm that complements your search for exceptional outcomes. Find the things that fuel your search for progress and build your routine and boundaries around them.
External pressures or expectations
Congratulations! You're aware of the needs, priorities, and expectations of others and you have a strong desire to find a solution that respects those needs, priorities, and expectations. We can confidently say that you're (probably) not a sociopath!
Your awareness for what others need, want, or expect is a superpower that you can harness, but that you might have been misusing all this time. Hear me out! You're quite aware of what others seem to need or want, right? That means your brain has comprehended the situation and constructed a way to organize a bunch of complex, unconstrained, and random verbal, physical, and emotional inputs from different people. Damn brain, that's something!
There's only one problem, one missing piece of data that your brain needs. It's time to unleash your superpower on yourself. What do you need, expect, and want to prioritize? Add your own inputs into the internal discussion you're having with your brain and look for the places where your inputs overlap with those of others. This is your zone of common agreement, excitement, and importance. Approach your decision with this zone (and only this zone) in mind.
Here you go, superhero - try this out the next time you encounter decision paralysis.
Clarify your own values and priorities. Take some time to clearly identify and define your personal values and priorities. This is the foundation for your decision-making, make sure it's in position to serve you throughout this process. Your decision will only be as good as the foundation that it's built on. Make sure that your own needs are contemplated in what you ultimately decide.
Set boundaries. Identify the source of the external pressures or expectations and insulate yourself from them. What's the source of the pressure? Identify the source and then neutralize the source with personalized boundaries for yourself (and others) and your current decision. What is your "You shall not pass" moment comprised of? (Shoutout to Gandalf's stand-off with the Balrog).
Manage expectations. Be honest about what you can and cannot commit to, what you can and cannot address, and what is and is not realistic. Set realistic expectations accordingly and communicate them clearly to others to manage external pressures.
Celebrate autonomy. You know what's super exciting? Your ability to shape your own path and decision. You've been given the autonomy to make this decision because one or more people know that left to your own devices and abilities - you have the ability to navigate the intricacies of making such a decision.
Communicate assertively. Express your needs, preferences, and boundaries (even if just to yourself) - and when needed, clearly communicate your decision and rationale to others, taking into account their own perspectives and boundaries.
Emotional barriers
Congratulations! If your eyes keyed in on this section and your brain became a bit more active... it means that life on Earth hasn't quite numbed you completely yet. Stay strong, fellow human! You're still very much in touch with how other people, and situations impact you or others mentally and emotionally. As a male, I like to think that my ability to shut-off my emotion chip like Lt. Commander Data is a blessing. But I do wonder how much clarity and personal growth I've missed out on by choosing to try to ignore or avoid emotional barriers instead of accepting and working through them.
Clarity. That's your north star here. Think about everything you do during your decision-making process as a means to drive clarity. You know what's super awesome about this source of decision paralysis?! Working through it is a veritable super-highway to personal growth and unlocking the next level of your own potential.
Think about these next steps a little bit less about helping you make a decision, but more about gaining the clarity that you can use to make this and future decisions.
Identify the emotions. Take the necessary time to identify and label the emotions that are influencing your decision-making process. These emotions may very well be the secret weapon to making your decision.
Validate your emotions. Acknowledge without judgment the validity of the emotions you're feeling during this process, and give yourself the same compassion you'd give to someone else feeling these emotions.
Express your emotions. Time to release any pent-up tension and unlock some clarity on your path to a decision. Identify healthy ways to express or process your emotions throughout the decision-making process.
Maintain self-awareness. Continually take notice of how you feel throughout your decision-making process. Your self-awareness will allow you to continuously recalibrate your approach and identify additional ways to gain clarity.
Challenge limiting beliefs. Negative thoughts or limiting beliefs are the primary fuel driving your emotional barriers. Challenge them head on to reduce the flow of fuel, and drastically reduce or eliminate the barriers preventing you from making your decision. Cognitive restructuring may be just what you need here.
Set boundaries. Insulate yourself from continuous dwelling on or over-exposure to the emotions that are fueling your indecision or paralysis. Once you've acknowledged and validated them, their purpose has been served. Once you've learned what you need to from them to inform your approach, it's time to respect that they exist but recognize that they don't need to have a seat at the table when you're making your decision.
Conclusion
As Porky the Pig would say "that's all folks". I hope that one or more words on this screen have provided you with the inspiration or perspective that you need to continue to grow as a person and leader.
If you really want to connect the dots full circle to my original dilemna around whether to choose a topic that's more relevant to retail or to outdoor hospitality - consider this... regardless of your industry or the product or service you sell, you are trying to get consumers to make a decision that is favorable to you, every day.
Maybe this guide to overcoming indecision can be the inspiration to contemplate and proactively counteract your consumer's potential indecision in your marketing and communication strategy.
